


Requiem aeternam

by chrisemrys



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, M/M, Neallen Week 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 17:51:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19817443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrisemrys/pseuds/chrisemrys
Summary: Nea's memories become ghosts around him, echoes of Nea's life, and it's the start of their symphonie toward the end.(Written for Neallen Week 2019!)





	Requiem aeternam

Hello~!

This story has been written for Neallen Week 2019, I posted the seven parts one by one each day of the week, and wrote the epilogue part as a bonus (it was initially meant to simply be part of the seventh part, but I decided to make it an epilogue to leave the seventh part with its own atmosphere).

This is one of the stories I place on my “to expand maybe” list, a list I'll probably make on my blog (chrismerysfics on tumblr) to have it clear somewhere what stories I might continue or add to. I do like how Requiem came out though, but there are one or two things at least that I can think as little additions, so we'll see. It won't be my priority, as I really want to write more for Meet me Halfway, Rise of the Walker, Bring me to Life and Assassin's Light. But it's on my list of stories to possibly expand, so if that thought cross your mind, have no worry, I too will keep it in mind~

(Oh, and for reference, this doesn't follow the canon AU of Meet me Halfway and others stories in that canon AU. It is very purposeful that I didn't touch the origin of the war in this, and didn't quite go in details on how it ends. I meant this story as its own canonverse as I knew how I wanted it to end since the start~)

Fun fact: I translated to Latin “Symphonie of Eternity” and got the title, but when I checked how the title translated, it translated into “Eternal Rest” which also fit well with the story (more than one character get their rest, one way or another) and it makes the title in Latin fit even more so. I'm glad~

I hope you will enjoy!

* * *

**Requiem aeternam**

_**Past &Present//Travel** _

Silver eyes shifted from the buildings to the train in the distance, a slow blink given as he tilted his head, considering. His feet moved before he consciously willed them, bringing him to the station, and for a brief moment, Allen's heart almost stopped when he felt no presence beside his.

Instead, his heart skipped a beat, and he pretended not to know why he had thought he should be travelling with someone. He had grown used to it, after all, the echoes of the Fourteenth's memories, like ghosts that willed themselves at the corner of his eyes every now and then.

Often, he ignored them, ignored how natural it had become to have those echoes with him, ignored how the loneliness ebbed away when each ghosts of memories filled him with warmth and melancholy, like a constant companion, a reminder that in his mind, he was not alone anymore.

Sometimes, he paid attention to them, pretending not to notice when he forgot for a while the memories were not his, unable to stop the curiousness about this Noah who surrounded himself in mystery.

And sometimes, with a quiet, worried acceptance radiating from his left arm, Allen followed the ghosts, the echoes, chasing sounds he would not hear, following steps he could barely see in the movements of ethereal figures that appeared too briefly to place them, and yet left Allen's heart clenching.

He steadily ignore how often he felt like it was not just Nea's heart that clenched, steadily pushed away to the deepest recess of his mind the whispers of the knowledge of who it was, steadily pretended his heart didn't ache with want.

Allen got his mind back to the present only enough to buy the ticket and board the train, then he sat with elbow on the little windowsill, cheek in his palm, watching the landscapes pass by, seeing the edge of a silhouette sitting beside him, feeling a ghost of someone resting against his side, lips curling up in a soft, fond smile.

Sometimes, he did not know if it was Nea, or if it was this echo of Nea's Mana, of the Mana that had stayed by Nea's side.

Allen felt like he didn't matter.

He still welcomed the ghost of the feeling, of the quiet closeness, of pretending all was fine and they were just travelling.

_**Dream//Memories** _

The moment he stepped down the train, Allen felt the powerful nostalgia that echoed from within his mind, almost making him stagger. He managed not to, and started to wander in the small town, a little confused at the strong emotion he felt from Nea.

It was as if Nea had not realized until now where they had been going. It was as if Nea recognized it now.

Allen, not for the first, but the first moment it felt so strong, wished he could speak with Nea. For all the echoes of Nea's memories had gotten stronger, for all the shadow in the reflections looked more and more like the Noah, he had yet to see him again.

_Let's look for the inn first, shall we?_

Allen's body tensed to not jump when he heard the voice, familiar despite only having faced Nea once, and then he realized it was not that Nea had finally talked to him.

He stopped walking, swallowing, pretending to be watching the window of a shop. All he could see was Nea's shadow stare toward the echo of the memory that played at the corner of Allen's eyes. He felt like his own breath stopped when another voice, familiar despite the youthfulness of it, reached his ears.

Heartbeat thundering, a single thought rose in his mind, one that he knew was not just his own.

_Mana_.

Allen could not resist anymore and looked. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, forced away the wetness at the corner of his eyes, and drank into the sight of a younger Mana walking beside Nea.

_Oh_ , Allen thought, heart pained yet soft, as he watched the smile Mana gave Nea, and the fondness in Nea's eyes. He felt his lips curl up, amused and amazed that Mana had once worn his hairs long. And oh, how his mind felt at peace now, yet so pained.

He knew now, how Mana looked at Nea, how Mana's love for his brother showed.

It was the same way Mana had looked at Allen, sometimes. Had Mana ever known Nea was sleeping within him, or had Nea's loss hurt Mana so much that he would forget everything, believe that Nea was with him?

Allen had been Allen the dog sometimes, and other times, he had been Nea, hadn't he?

Yet, Allen had witnessed Mana's love for his dog, and that was how he had realized that soon, Mana would not always see Allen as his old dog.

And now that he witnessed Mana's love for Nea, he knew. Yes, Mana had loved him while seeing him as Nea.

But only sometimes. Because other times, there was a love in his eyes, one that was not the softness for his dog, or the warm fondness for his brother. A love Allen could now believe again had been just for him.

Nea and he shared a few things, then. Being loved by Mana. Feeling love for Mana.

Allen knew deep in his heart, that both of them would do anything for Mana.

Mana had been Nea's brother, Allen's father, and yet… Yet, to call Nea family felt unfitting.

In this moment, as he watched the echo of memory fade away, Allen felt something bloom, shy yet determined, hesitant yet strong.

Family did not begin to cover what Nea and he were. Not when they shared a body, not when they shared love for Mana.

And when Allen settled into the inn, laid down to rest, he anticipated the dreams that came to him. No, he welcomed them.

And when he felt the arms around his form, a ghost of a touch that still felt more real than the ghosts of memories, Allen welcomed it too.

_**Symbolism//Bonds** _

When silver eyes opened, his gaze flickered around the inn's room with remain of sleep getting a yawn out of him, one hand lifting to rub one of his eyes. A soft chuckle sounded just as Allen processed the sight he had caught.

He froze, hand hovering, blinking in a slow manner at the rather ghost like Noah sitting at the little table. A smirk pulled the corner of his lips up, eyes half lidded as they gazed at Allen, but there was warmth in those eyes.

In Nea's hand, a single poppy was held between two fingers, brought to the Noah's nose as if he was taking its scent.

Allen dropped his hand, shifted to sit up, staring at Nea. Timcanpy wiggled out of the covers to get on his laps, a confused sound leaving the golem, betraying that for all the Noah was not an echo of memories, he was still something for Allen's eyes only.

His gaze flickered briefly to the window, and he felt no real surprise as the lack of shadow. However, when his eyes returned on the table, his heart skipped a beat as he found no one. For a brief second, he felt… sad.

Then he felt a phantom weight lean against his side, an arm around his back, a hand resting beside his hip, a head resting at his shoulder, and another hand laying on his laps. Timcanpy made a startled sound, but did not move, and neither did Allen.

_Don't be afraid, Allen,_ a faint voice whispered in his ear, body shivering at the sensation of a warm breath he knew not to be real, or not in the same way that Timcanpy's weight was, at least. _You and I are tied, we always have been_. Allen felt the curl of those lips against his ear, making him shiver once more, heart hammering in his chest. _And you've started to accept this bond._

Allen did not know when he placed his hand in his laps, but his gaze was startled down as he felt the solid flower shape under his fingers. A poppy laid there, very real under his fingers, while there was no hand anymore. He realized there was no weight either, and he turned his head, conflicted as he did not see Nea.

He heard the chuckle that was growing familiar very fast, and he snapped his gaze toward the window. In the reflection, Nea stood there, sitting at the edge of his bed, not a shadow anymore. _Aww, you don't want to see me gone now?_

Before Allen could think, he heard himself say, “No, I don't,” like a fact, like a truth. Then because he could, “You're mine right? My Noah.”

Nea visibly startled, golden eyes widening, then he laughed, a sound that made something warm bloom in Allen's chest. _Oh_ _my! I need to step up my game, if you can tease me back so easily~_

Allen's lips pulled up briefly. “Who said I'm teasing?”

That earned a squint from Nea, and a snort from Timcanpy. Allen only smiled brightly, declaring he was hungry, and ignoring Nea's calls of _little host what did you mean? Allen!_

He couldn't stop the faint smirk as he heard Nea whine loudly, though.

Later, Allen would wonder what it might mean for him now, that Nea seemed… closer to the surface, easier to reach. But for now he wanted to appreciate a little longer how easy it was to feel lighter now that Nea's voice became a constant companion.

_**Medication//Poison** _

When the first wave of heat came, Allen felt no real surprise. Nea stopped mid-speech, wincing, golden eyes shooting with concern to his host. Allen met those eyes, smiling but knowing it was strained.

“Any chance you can lessen it?”

Nea looked away, jaws set tighter, shaking his head. _Not me, I am the Noah within you after all._

Allen sighed, offering a softer smile, feeling another kind of warmth, seeing once more the signs that Nea didn't enjoy his suffering.

But he never expected the quiet, _you can ask Crown Clown, though_.

Allen stopped walking, staring at the phantom Nea by his side, who refused to meet his gaze. “Won't it hurt you? Don't you-” He swallowed. “I'm only slowing it down, aren't I?”

A wry smile formed, and Nea's expression was too guarded when he looked back at Allen. “If I said I do want you to turn fully, would you believe me?”

Silver searched gold, unsure of how to interpret those words, the look he was given. He stepped closer without thinking about it, but it was Nea who lifted a ghost-like hand, brushing his knuckles over Allen's cheek.

It left a sensation like a warm breeze, though the warmth evolved into heat that went down his body. Nea let his hand hover close to Allen's face, who saw from the corner of his eyes that it clenched into a fist.

Nea made no attempt to hide the frown that formed, the downward pull of his lips, as he lowered his hand.

Allen's eyes turned soft, gentle. He ignored the headache that started and steadily grew. “You… are as trapped as I am, aren't you?”

Nea gave a smile full of bitterness. “I was never meant to have an unwilling host.” His gaze slid downward, shoulders dropping a bit. “I would hate the Innocence that attached to you, but it's just like you.” His gaze returned to meet Allen's eyes as he finished, voice low and silky, “Too damn lovable.”

Allen's breath caught. Nea's hands twitched, and Allen chose not to think, he reached out and took hold of one of the phantom hand with his left one. The sensation of a cool breeze washed over his body, and judging by Nea's own shiver, he too felt such a thing. Sparks of heat came and went, the headache pulsing still but tolerable.

Nea's form looked a little less like a ghost, felt a little more real, and Allen's eyes flickered to the Noah's lips then back up. His heart thumped harder when he met the half lidded gaze of Nea.

He did not know who stepped closer, maybe both of them, but their noses touched, Nea's lips pulled into a sly smile. Allen narrowed his eyes, letting his lips curl into a tiny smirk.

“Fourteenth..?”

They almost jumped apart. Their body stiffened, flinching faintly.

Except… Both of them recognized the voice.

Nea's eyes begged, pleaded, apologized. _Don't look. I'm sorry._

Allen, for a few beat, stood frozen, staring back into those golden eyes. Then, with fingers tightening their hold, he turned his head slightly, letting his eyes find the source of the voice that he had not heard in years.

Nea closed his eyes, and let his head rest against Allen's shoulder, lips moving without sounds, for his words were already echoing in their shared mind.

_I'm so sorry, Allen. I hoped you never had to know_.

_**Loss//Doubt** _

It felt as if the ground had vanished from under his feet, as if the world stopped all sounds, ears buzzing. It felt as if his breath and his heart stopped, as if he was experiencing the worst day of his life again.

Because any happiness he could have felt at the sight of the man standing there washed away under the understanding he didn't want to get at the sight of grey skin, golden eyes and a row of stigmata.

If this man… If he was…

And he didn't want to understand more, but in his mind, the way he spoke the single word, the longing when he called the Fourteenth…

He heard it before, didn't he?

Only the Millennium Earl sounded so hopeful and yet full of grief, calling for Nea.

_Of course_ , Allen thought with a hollow, breathless laugh. _Of course the one who would want Nea so much is Mana_.

Everything he thought he knew, every goals he thought he had, they were breaking like glass; he had vowed to fight for Mana, to save souls for Mana, and he had vowed to end the Earl.

What was he supposed to do, if the man he loved most and the man he hated most where one and the same?

A laugh broke past his lips, then another, barely noticing Nea's worried, pained look.

_Have I ever hated the Earl though? Isn't it me that I always hated, the one who so easily got fooled?_

_What did I even do to Mana, was it even Mana back then?_

_Or was it even the Earl?_

Allen did not even realize the maddened laughters were his own. The sensation of frightened warmth from his left arm barely registered. The growing pressure in the air vaguely processed.

There were mad growls, but they weren't his own.

_Mana, oh beloved Mana, your mind is worst than it used to be, isn't it? Do I have fault in this?_

Yet, all he found himself able to focus on was the resigned yet steely gaze of the Noah that still faced him, despite having grown see-through again.

A hand touched his cheek with tenderness, golden eyes gentle with guilt and something softer, warmer.

_I'll get us out of here. Will you let me, Allen?_

Allen just closed his eyes, exhausted, numb, and still….

Still able to put trust in his Noah.

In this breaking world of his, wasn't Nea the unbreakable one?

I hoped you never had to know, he had said.

And it changed everything about this Noah who he had not known what to think, to feel.

Nea had always been the one to look out for him, in the end, hadn't he?

_Please, Nea. Take me away from here._

_**Silence//Music** _

Wind breezed into his hairs, a gentle touch that grounded him as much as the bark against his back. The mindscape of wheat field and manor in the distance had always felt a little nice, familiar, nostalgic; and right now, it felt like the safest place in the world. There was no sounds except the breeze through the field, no sensations except the grass under his palms, and like this, Allen could pretend nothing was wrong.

It worried Nea immensely, no matter how he had expected how broken the truth would make Allen. He had wished to avoid the pain, he had wished he would be able to prepare him. And with the need to get their body to safety, Nea could not join Allen in their mindscape.

No matter how many times he sent gentle worry and comforting compassion as sensations, only silence replied to him.

But he knew Allen felt it, he knew Allen was not gone, that the space Nea created in their mind was now Allen's protective cocoon, and that was more than Nea could have hoped for.

Still, when hours passed, with no change, with the heart stopping agony of sensing Allen falling asleep, no desire to wake up, Nea knew he had to do something.

For all he had been said to be fated to erase Allen, for all even Cross had believed it, that was not Nea's goal nor intent. Not as long as he could prevent it.

Mana wasn't the only one he wished to save.

And so, softly at first, Nea hummed that one tune, let it sound in their mind, the one song that they had created together, that meant so much to them.

The sound of the piano's notes echoed in their mind, in their heart, the Ark reacting to its first master, reaching out for its second master.

The sweetest sound in the world finally filtered to Nea's ears.

Allen's soft voice floated in their mind, rose as he sang the lyrics of their song.

The walls between their mind fell, neither of them willing to remain distant anymore.

Nea opened the door to the Musician's room, who welcomed him with happiness, and he laid down on the couch.

The Musician's song echoing in their mind, in the room itself, the piano still playing on its own, Nea closed his eyes.

_I'm coming, Allen._

_**Reincarnation//Eternity** _

Nea had barely opened his eyes in their mindscape that a body jumped him, arms wrapping around his chest and a face pressed into his neck. His arms snaked around the familiar body by instinct, golden eyes flickering down, his heart squeezing at the trembling of Allen's form and the tears he felt against his skin.

He placed a gentle kiss at Allen's temple, whispering a soft apology, and Allen shook his head.

“You-” His voice came muffled, broken; and he swallowed before managing at in more controlled tone, if still shaky, “It makes sense now. So much sense. You've always looked for the option that hurt me less, but all hurt me.”

Nea's arms tightened around Allen's body, he nuzzled those soft, white hairs and placed a kiss at the top of his head. “In this war, you are the one who hurt the most. You care for everyone.” A smile curled his lips. “But that's exactly why I...”

Allen leaned back, not caring for his red eyes and the silent tears still falling. His gaze was soft, fragile, hopeful. “You..?”

One hand came to brush knuckles against Allen's cheek. “Who you were and who you are now, you're different yet the same.” Nea leaned closer, nose brushing together. “I loved you then and I… I love you now. I know you barely started to know m-”

Allen cut Nea off by pressing their lips together, a lingering, chaste kiss. Warmth flooded his chest, at the back of his mind he felt relief and soothing from Crown Clown, his precious, loyal Innocence who wanted to see him happy more than anything.

_So that's why you never harmed Nea… You have always known his care for me rivalled yours._

Gentle hands rubbed down his back, lips moved with tenderness, Nea's body shivered against his, and Allen let out a soft little please noise. A growl came from Nea, sending a shiver down Allen's own body, finding himself pressing closer.

The kiss turned less innocent, lips parting, a tongue teased his own, hands settled one in his hairs and one at the small of his back. The breeze of the mindscape caressed them both, made their senses sharper, a soft gasp passed his lips as he felt the little bite at his lower lip before they parted.

Nea rested his forehead against Allen's, both breathing deeply with eyes closed for a few moments.

When their gazes met, Nea looked equally fond and sad. Allen returned it with warmth and trust.

“Nea… You still need my body, don't you?” He saw the slight twitch of Nea's lips, and his cheeks flushed. “ _Nea_.”

The Noah chuckled, shifted to kiss Allen's cheek. “The original plan was for me to be revived and end the war. When I realized you had Innocence now, I thought...” He didn't finish, but he hugged Allen closer, pressing their forehead together again and nuzzling their nose together. “But...” He let out a breath of laughter. “Only you would form such a loving bond with your Innocence that it will accept anything as long as you can be happy.”

Allen's cheeks flushed, and a soft gasp left his lips as fluffy warmth cocooned them both in white. He watched with wide eyes how the touch of Crown Clown seemed to relax Nea rather than hurt, heart thumping harder with something bright and fond at the purring-like sounding coming from his Innocence. “Crown Clown?” He called out, hopeful, more hopeful than he has ever felt, voice shaky and lips trembling from the force of his hope.

A coo came from his Innocence, and Nea gave him the most gentle of smile, the same fragile hope in his golden eyes. “For you, Allen, we would do anything. And since the awakening has started, what we can do is protect you, exchange our place.” He paused, shoulders slumping. “That's the best we can offer. For you to be dormant like I was, until we can exchange place again.”

Allen chuckled, and kissed the corner of Nea's mouth. “Promise me neither of you will sacrifice yourself for this. I don't want to return if it is by one of you being gone.”

Nea let out a laugh, kissing Allen's forehead. “I think… we can do that. Don't you think, little Crown?”

For reply, feathers fluffed out and tapped at Nea, making both of them laugh as they both sensed the fluster behind the nickname. But it was all the reply they needed.

Allen smiled softly at Nea, feeling the arms tighten around him, enjoying the nuzzles against his cheek as Nea stalled. He placed his lips at Nea's temple. “It will be okay, Nea.”

Nea breathed out a laugh. “Shouldn't I be the one to reassure you?”

“You reassure me by being who you are.” Allen found himself saying without control.

Nea leaned back, wide eyes staring at Allen, who blushed more and more. A grin formed on the Noah's face, and he pressed a kiss to Allen's lips again, low rumbles of contentment in his throat.

In the end, they shared kisses after kisses, comforting warmth around them, until they found themselves simply looking into each other eyes, forehead against each other.

And in a soft humming, the Musician's song echoed between them, Allen's quiet voice singing, until he was singing anymore and only Nea's humming with his silent tears remained.

A mask nuzzled his cheek. Nea opened his eyes, letting his humming die down, and offering a weak little smile. He released his hold over Allen's sleeping frame, allowing Crown Clown to gather him in its hold.

“Thank you, little Crown. I promise… I'll make sure he'll wake to a world he can be happy in.”

Crown Clown bumped its mask with Nea's forehead, and a voice like crystal echoed in his mind. _He will be happy in any world you live in, Nea Campbell. Don't you dare forget that._

And leaving Nea blinking with a blush slowly forming, Crown Clown carried Allen inside the mindscape's manor.

_**Epilogue** _

Silent tears down his cheeks, bloodied sword lowered to the ground, Nea watched as Mana's soul rose, finally peaceful. He felt the powers of the Earl infuse him, but he smiled as Mana gazed at him, and he must have seen that trust Nea felt toward the future, because his brother smiled back.

_Until the way we meet again_ , brother; they both whispered to each other.

And once his brother's soul was gone, Nea closed his eyes, feeling for Crown Clown, a final reassurance.

Mana had not been their first goal. They had both known it would only kill Allen, to have the Earl's power infuse his body without something else to counter.

There was only one power that could balance it out.

Nea's lips lifted into a soft smile as he felt Crown Clown's new light wash over Allen's body, meeting with the Earl's darkness in a gentle caress.

_Please, Adam,_ the new Heart plead in a soft voice tired of war and pain, yet strong with the will to see their most precious happy.

No more words were needed, against what Crown Clown and Nea had expected. But then again… Adam had been tired too, hadn't he?

Nea jolted as he felt a phantom embrace, as he felt the title of the Millennium Earl leave Adam and infuse his own soul, as he felt the fundamental change in the core of the First Apostle.

_Thank you, Nea, and may you be a good Earl to this new age._

Nea knew the second phantom who took Adam's hand to be Katerina. She had waited for him, and he wished with all his heart for them to be happy now.

Then he felt a spark of power from within, the new Heart and the new Earl joining hands rather than fighting.

Nea fell to his knees with a cry, pain in his physical form but hope in his heart.

New tears fell when a certain presence stirred at the depth of his mind, as a voice almost sleepy called his name, as something warm bloomed when all that had happened filtered to him.

_Nea_ , breathed out Allen in wonder, with warmth and love and approval.

It was more than he had hoped. It was all he wanted.

And with a bright flash of dual light, the new Heart and the new Earl split, meant to be two, meant to be bonded forever.

The Holy War ended on this day, with the birth of the Earl's Heart. A Heart to keep the Earl from loosing himself, Innocence and Noah free from the hate that poisoned their souls.

Allen and Nea took each other's hands on this day, and would never let go, eternity granted at each other side to keep the world from ever falling into destruction ever again.

And one a snowy day of winter, walking side by side, hands intertwined, silver and gold eyes shifted to a pull in their heart.

Allen gasped as they stopped walking, his eyes widening as he tugged Nea's hand, whispering a small, breathy, “Nea, Nea look-”

Nea's fingers tightened their hold, a smile crept on his face as he cried. “Mana. He's finally back.”

Silver eyes managed to shift from the small child to his lover, a tender smile on his own crying face. He moved closer, fitting against Nea's side, making his Earl blink and glance at him, cheeks flushing at the tender smile directed at him. Allen chuckled, leaning up to place a kiss against one of those red cheek.

“It seems this time, I'm the one to be his father.” He murmured, a little sad as he glanced at the orphanage's sign.

Nea rubbed his thumb over the back of Allen's hand, expression softening. “Maybe he didn't want it any other way.”

It made Allen laugh, something warm and happy, bringing upon them the gaze on a certain child. Said child widened his amber eyes, and before the nannies even realized he did, the child rushed outside.

Allen and Nea jumped when tiny hands clasped their joined one. Their heart skipped a beat as they gazed down to wide, familiar eyes that looked at them in wonder.

And like this, they were truly complete once more.

**The End**


End file.
